Thursday, October 8, 2009

I should just die

Mood: Depressed... a little angery at myself.
Tunes: "New Dawn Fades" Joy Division

-sigh- I want to die. Why? I dont feel right being alive. I dont feel like I'm ment to be. I feel compeatly numb. Yea it's selfish. But I dont know!! I just dont think the world wants to here me being a whiny little bitch. I wish I could talk to Ian Curtis. Yes. I know he is dead now and has nothing to do with me but it seems like he would understand..... or maybe its because I have a strange (VERY strange) love for him. Like real love.GOD IM SO FUCKED UP!!!!! He writes about all the stuff I feel...... I get all nervous and he makes me cry. I wish he could talk to me.... hold me... -sigh- I dont know what to do. I hate the town I live in. It's nothing but a hick town. Theres nothing.... all I do is get picked on for my belifes. There is no safe place.... I'm gay-hater-meat to all of them. They wont leave me alone. I should just die.

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