Sick Love

Mood: Lonely...wanting....hurt
Tunes: "Pictures of you" The Cure

Its as if Robert Smith can only really FIND my true emotions for things without even knowing of my exsistance. I feel love for him.... Its annoying when people say things like that are just phases. True, I will grow out of things I'm sure. But, the love I feel for certain musicans or artist...is hard to explain. I feel like Robert Smith couldnt hurt me.... when even in fact, I know that he could. He pulls me into a differt reality. He makes me feel like that I am understood....somehow, someway. If I could.... hmm.... thoes are just dreams. Dreams that are useless. I hate my self. I hate my self for being attached to people who are dead, or alive and dont know i exsist! Dont know that I am a living breathing person with emotions and feelings just as they. Its some sick love I have for him. He pulls emotions from me that I couldnt show to anyone. I tremble as I hear "Bloodflowers" I want to die. Its just so sick to hold a picture of him feeling as if nothing else matters. I guess... to quot him.... "All I have are these pictures...pictures of you, I've had them so long that I almost believed they where real."