Sucuidal thoughts (written at 12)

"suicidal thoughts" 3/7/07" "Weve all got guns bring your friends" I herd you say. Click. next track. I listen tapping my foot. I miss you....more than anything or feeling.... I take out a knife pull up my jacket sleeve and i jump into the water. I here the opening chords to come as you are. I open my eyes. My feet hang in the air as i sink down, the water hurts my eyes. "No I dont have a gun, no i dont have a gun" Click. Trigger pulled back. I cant see. I cant move. The cold water holds me still. "I swear I dont have a gun" I turned. Dizzy dizzy losing breath, "I'll lock my lips to yours a passinote kiss from my mouth to yours" I could hear you even though you only stared. You had done as promised. Your hand grasped my tie. You pulled. I was choaking. You made me hold the gun to your sweet head. Gave me a wink, bang bang shot your self dead, let your lips still hold mine. My eyes blurred from water and blood. I picked up the blade in my wet hand. Slit my wrist grabbed the gun, Bang. My hand over your pretty cold fingures that held my tie and stole the rest of my breath. I held your hand. Cocked it back. Inhailed the blood and water that became my wine. Bang. Bang. Sliver bullett threw my head: blood mixed with yours. My last words? Hello Whatever Nevermind.