I miss my wonderwall!

Mood: sulking
Tunes: Champaine Supernova Oasis

-shigh- It seems I miss people more and more as summer wanes. Never do I know WHY..... -shigh- I miss Nikki

Sometimes

Sometimes I feel alone,

Sometimes I feel like I could die,

Its really hard you know

Its hard to hang on

Dosnt everybody hurt? Dosnt everyone cry?

Sometimes I want to fly

Sometimes I want to get high

Other days I just want to be left alone to cry

I hate it when people see me cry

I cant let them see...

Dosnt everybody hurt? Dosnt everyone want to die sometimes?

But I'm scared!

I'm afraid...

I feel all alone,

Dosnt everybody hurt?

Dosnt everybody cry?

Do we all feel alone... sometimes?

I guess.....

Everybody hurts sometimes.

If you slit my heart can I sew it back? CH 4 "A cold awakening"

Coriline couldnt think or repsond. She just became distant in thought. He got up and blew out the candles and left her alone in darkness. She herd the uptairs door slam and lock. She felt sick... so very sick. Coriline strained her ears to listen. Nothing. Thats all she herd. Repeated nothing. She hated it. Coriline shiverd. She disliked being alone... most of the time. She crawled to find a candle. SMACK!! She hit her head on the leg on the table. For hours she just laid there. Curled up and wilted.... like a vilot. She rememberd seeing vilots when she was younger. They were everywhere on the farm she grew up on. They made her happy. They seemed to bring her joy. Why was she thinking of them now? She couldnt answer. The rain had stopped she noted. Coriline got up and walked outside... or fumbled would be a better word. She breathed in the cold, wet air. She liked it. Coriline tried to find the moon but could only see a few stars. She wished that there were vilots. Coriline looked at her hand and startled. "Mr. Todd fixed it..... with his razor?? Ohh surly that wasnt blood.... I hope not..." She felt her self getting sleepy. She didnt know the time. Coriline curled up in a ball on the steps. Her own blood slightly dripping from the bandages. She fell asleep almost instantly even on the cold hard growned. She started to forget. Forgetting the cold, forgetting her pain and most importantly, for getting the eyes that would soon gazed at her.

Some streets down walked a boy. He held a bag over his sholder. He whistled and turned down to Fleet Street. He stopped dead in his tracks. "He...he's dead...now... surly he is..." he saw the shop had been made into a dress and hat shop. He walked on past it. Or... ran past it I should say.
*Upstairs*
Sweeney Todd watched all this from his window. He couldnt tell who it was. He returned his attention to the figure on the steps. He wonderd of her life. "Is she....sleeping. Thats all." He thought. Sweeney sighed and shook his head. He unlocked his door. Then walked down and lifted the lifeless figure. She was very frail. Then he put her on the floor of the parlor next to the remaining burning ambers. He staired at the thing sleeping. Why did he do that? Sweeney shiverd at the tought. Suddenly he jumped. He herd a call of a crow. He hated them. His eyes never left the girl. He wished he could sleep... peacefuly. He wish he could dream without waking up in terror and rage. He walked over to the tabel and got some gin. It burned his throat as he drank it. He looked at him self in the reflection of the dirty window. The years havent done a thing. He grabbed a candle and went down to the basement. He opened the door. All that was there was a small cot and a blanket, pen and a book. A Book? No. Two books! He walked over to the small little desk. One book was an old batterd copy of "Salome." by Oscar Wilde. The other was blank full of writing. Her Diary. He opened it. He read a little. It was just a girls diary. Nothing interesting. Except...
I had the same nightmare again! The bodies kept burning. I herd my mother screaming. Rumors flew around me like.... bees in a honey comb. I just kept running and running and running. The people of the town kept casing me. I ran till I could run no more... Then I am burried alive.
Coriline Rose.

He shiverd. What was burning?? Why? Questions filled his mind. Some odd emotion filled him. Sweeney felt as if he had to protect the girl. The walked out of there quickly. He saw her still sleeping. He cursed him self for what he felt. Why did he? "Damn her." He mudderd and walked up stairs and slammed the door shut.

There is a moon There is a human

There is a moon, there in the sky. I look at it and it looks at me. And so goes the dance of curiosity. I stare at it and it at me. I feel to wonder if it could understand these human eyes that grow hugery for something.

There is a human, deep down below. On a lighted up world, that I can not go. I look at it and it looks at me.... And so goes the dance of curiosity. What is that? That thing in its skull... it blinks! It moves!

Moon why are you far? Moon why are you sad? Do you feel emotions? Can we not be lovers in a sky of vast space songs? To dance in the cloak of shadowed clouds to run away from the sun, together moon! You and I and I and you! Let us dance together moon.

Human why are you so far? What is that line apoun your face fallen down? Is it what you call sad? What you call a frown? You remind me of a shaodw. A shadow made by clouds. That hide me when I'm scared and I dont want to come out! Let us dance together human! Hide me from the sun...

Hide me from the sun, Moon. Please dont run!

Goodbye human for a day... I'll be back but I can never stay...

And so there was a moon...

Tonight

Tonight I feel lost, tonight I feel alone, tonight I am in love. Tonight I am lost, tonight will I be found? Will I stop chasing shadows of grace? Will I keep away from things that hurt me most? Will someone hold me close? Tonight I am lonely. Tonight I dream. Tonight I hold a picture, this picture of you. Tonight I am in love.... so much that it hurts. Tonight I am alone with my picture of you. What about tomarrow?

If you slit my heart can I sew it back? CH: 3 "I told you..."

Coriline's eyes bursted open. Her mouth was dry. She was beening shaken... viloently. "WAKE UP!! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WAKE UP!!" "What???" She shiverd. Sweeney staried down at her, anger bruned in his eyes. "STOP IT PLEASE!! YOUR HURTING ME!!" She cried out. He stopped shaking her but he did not let go. The room, the whole house, was in darkness. Coriline rasied her shakey hands up to her face. Shards of glass where in them. It hurt to move them. "Dont move." Sweeney said rather firmly. He got up. He walked over to the match box with ease. Oh he was mad! He told her not to drink it! Oh what was she thinking that bitch!! Oh how- he stopped him self. Curriosity gets us all... sometimes. Sweeney lighted a few candles and went up stairs. The young girl was blushing madly. "He... did... he hold me??" Her hands throbbed with pain, but she stayed still. Sweeney returned. He walked over and knelt down next to her. "Listen to me and listen good. I want you to look at me. Nothing else. Just my face not my hands, understand?" Coriline stared blankly. "Well do you understand or not?" "Y-y-yes.." she mudderd. "Good." Sweeney drew out his razor blade softly. She started to glance down. "DONT!" She lifted her head back up and nodded. Carefully, he lifted her hand to where he could see. "Wh-whatever your going to do to me.... will it hurt?" She asked, her voice stiffend. "Yes." He replied with no expression in his voice. He remained plaiced. Coriline longed to remove her hands. She stiffend... scared. He looked at her... trying to be comforting. His fingures gently rubbed the palm of her hand. She blushed. "H-h-how bad will it hurt??" She asked. He didnt answer. Swiftly, the blade kissed her hands. Coriline screamed bloody murder. She trashed. "Hold..still!! Hold still!" He yelled at her. Thankfully, it was only one hand that needed to be cut open more to remove the glass. Tears burned down her face. "Y-y-you... THAT HURT!!" She cried. "I told you..." he said softly. He put his blade next to him. She looked at it and felt dizzy again. Sweeney carefully held her bleeding hand up to his face and began to remove the shards of glass. For they where in there deeply. She winced and yelped. He ignorned her and continued his work. At last the last peice of glass was removed. He left her there for a moment. She felt ashamed for crying in front of him. Sweeney returned with wrapping bandages. He lifted her hand up to his face again to see. Then he started to wrap it up slowly. "I am afriad you arnt going to be alble to sew for awhile, love." he said. She watched him. His face seemed to change to her. Was it... kinder? Coriline dismissed the thought as soon as it enterd. At last he was finished. Slowly, he turned her hand over and rubbed the end down so it would stick to her hand. She felt so dizzy... and cold... and a million other things. "There now." he mudderd pleased with himself. It had been along time sence he had done an act of good. He hoped Lucy would be proud... somehow...

"Thank you..." she said softly. He lightly picked up her frail bandage hand "Dont mention it..." he whisperd and kissed the exposed skin of her hand softly.

END OF CH 3!

If you slit my heart can I sew it back CH: 2 "What are you drinking!!??"

By the time Coriline stepped out of the bath and slipped on her underdress, for it was the only thing that was dry, it was 9:30. She walked out. She enterd the kichten. "Where has Lady Wotton gone?" she mudderd half to her self. "Lady Wotton has been called away to Paris. Her sister has a chill. She has fled off to her aid, I'm afraid." said Sweeney from behide her. Coriline jumped a little then turned to face him. "Oh... I see..." she walked over to the tabel and looked at the crystal glass stained red. "My!" Coriline exclaimed, "Never have I seen a wine so bright and... sticky!" she lifted the glass and inspected it. His eyes widend. "Thats because it has gone bad." "Oh dont be silly..." she noticed there was one drop left in the glass. "DONT DRINK THAT!!" He yelled. Coriline froze. Never had she herd him raise his voice before it was terrifying. "Y-y-yes sir..." she said meekly and placed it down. He shighed heavily and threw off his coat. "Your coat is full of holes! Let me sew it back up, I have blue tread." She said and went to the small chest where the tread was held. Sweeney did nothing. He mearly watched. She picked up his coat and sat down in the parlor chair by the fire and began to work. He sat on the chair oppisite of her. He watched her hands. They flew gracefully with the fabric and needle. He was so intently watching that he jumped when he herd her "What where you drinking Mr.Todd?" "Medicine." Sweeney said blankly. "Medicine for what? You seem perfectly- OUCH!!" She pricked her fingure. He looked up at her with a curious glance. "Well you didnt finish your medicine..." she mudderd sucking the blood off her fingure. He grunted and staired back into the fire. She shighed and continued to sew the ratty thing for a coat. Thunder crashed. "Looks like its raining again Mr.T" she said. "DONT CALL ME THAT EVER!!" He stormed out of the room. She stared blankly after him. Coriline bent her head down and finished his coat. She hung it up for him. She herd the door of upstairs slam. She shighed. "I didnt mean...." she mudderd to herself.

*Upstairs*

Sweeney Todd slammed the door in rage. He yelled. Then kicked the wall. Again and again. He glanced at his side tabel. There and then lighting flashed luminating his horrible past. His head began to spin. Sweeney stumbled back. His eyes did not leave the picture frame for it was his most prized posseiton. Lucy and his darling, Johanna, who he knew not where she had gone to. "Lucy...oooh... Lucy..." he fell to his knees. He moaned in agongy. Sweeney Todd could feel his neck burn with pain. His vision became blurred with tears of maddenss. Oh how he longed to hold her again!! And his little baby... his sweet baby.He looked to the sky in anger. "Why have you done this to me??!" he cried to know one. Rain began to fall harder.

*Downstairs*

Coriline had looked at the crystal glass in awe. It glowed red... like rubies, as they had remined her of. She lightly touched the glass with her frail fingures. She picked it up and gazed at it in the light. How it sang! Oh! How it sang to her! Coriline licked her lips. Curriosity stirred her madly. What was it?? What did it taste like? What does it feel like?! Oh! How she felt like Juliet, about to drink the poison from her lovers lips. Her imagination always was uncontrolible. Coriline lifted the glass to her lips softly. She smelled it. She was taken aback. It smelled like that night.... the night of the burnings in Boston. How that haunted her still. She remebered her mothers face. Burning and flaming her eyes bleeding out as she cried to heaven for answers. Coriline shiverd at the thought. Still, she lifted the glass once again. She took a few quick breathes, as if one would to prepare for something. Coriline felt it slide into her throat. What was it she tasted?? She continued to drink...

*Upstairs*
His tears where shed. suddenly he leaped up from his chair. Coriline!! The glass!! Surly she wouldnt.... she was mostly obbeadiant...mostly. Curious she was more so! Sweeney leaped up and ripped the door open and darted downwards to the shop as quickly as he could.

*Downstairs*
As if a spell was casted, wind blew in. The candels blew out with a shhhh. Coriline drank every drop. She felt dizzy... sick. The darkness she was plunged into began to spin. "Ooooh....what was he drinking....oooh" she moaned. "CORILINE! CORILINE!!" She didnt hear. Coriline tasted her fingure."B-blood!!?? NO! Not him! Not Mr. Todd!!" she thought. She felt so sick. Screams ripped threw her head. Of her mother, father and brother. Fire rose up in her mind. She herd her name being called... but it was far away. Coriline moaned. Then... thunder crashed and lighting struck! She fell and glass shatterd everywhere. "CORILINE!! CORILINE!!?" She moaned in respons. She felt cold hands grab her. "Wake up! Wake up! Coriline!!" she vaguly listened as she tumbled into sweet darkness...

END OF CH 2!

My love <3

Mood: Happy a little sad, but happy
tunes: "My Love" Paul McCartney <3 <3

Paulie and Linda forever and ever!!!!! <3 God, when he played this I started crying and he was crying too. It was so sweet. I know he still loves her. Oh! How I hope there is a heaven for when Paul's time comes... that he can be with Linda agian. I wish that more than anything!! For him to be with John George and Linda! How Lovly that would be.

I saw Nikki today!! <3 It was nice. :D He eated me. lol. Then we spaced out to pink floyd. :) Today was a good day.

If you slit my heart can I sew it back? CH: 1 "The Death Of Lady Wotton"

"Mr. Todd sir?" Coriline stammard out. Never in all of her 18 years has her curitosity sir her as much as this! She was a taylors apperentice. She lived in a basement under Mrs. Lady Wotton Taylor shop on Fleet Street in London. She came across from Boston to flee from her familys past. They where all hung from witch craft. The man did not speak. A barber lived up stairs and seldome came down. "Mr. T-todd?" She said a little louder. The man turned to look at her. His expression remained the same; somber. "I... I know you dont like to be disturbed in your work but... but I made you tea." She said softly and held out a cup and sauser for him. He glacned at her, then her slightly shaking hand. "Thank you, love." he said barly adudible. She nodded and placed it on the tabel and feeling her self go pink... she left. Coriline walked down the stairs to the small little work room to mend a dress. "He certainly is hansome.... No wonder he charms Lady Wotton so easily!! Oh stop thinking of such things! Your here to sirvive not love.... not yet anyway." She thought. "OUCH!!" She pricked her fingure on the sewing needle.... again...
* Upstairs in The Baber Shop *
Sweeney Todd sat in his barber chair. He gazed out at the rainy world that London gave him, sorrowfully. His neck itched. He gritted his teeth in pain and strached around the scar he had recvied from a little boy, so many years ago. Sometimes, the urge to kill would grip him so hard along with this pain that.... he acted on it. Sweeney Todd vowed to find said boy, he now assumed a man, and drag him threw hell! He knew he was to die someday but it was NOT going to be by the hands of a Orphan boy! And when, Sweeney did in fact die, as we all disirve to do, he would quitly go back to hell. There was no hope for him pleading with God. He begged no one. He knew his hope was gone. He glanced over at his tabel. The tea! He walked over to it and sipped it gratefuly. "The girl is sweet but curious..." he thought " perhaps to curious" he finished aloud. He sat down again and began to clean his razors.
*Down stairs*
"Are you finished with thoes dresses!?" snaped Mrs. Lady Wotton coming in from shopping. "Three of them, Auntie... I mean Lady Wotton." Coriline mudderd. "DONT CALL ME AUNTIE!! I am ashamed to be related to you! But in anycase, how many did I give you to finish?" She said. "Four Lady Wotton." Coriline replied not meeting the fat frogs gaze. "I see what of the forth, Coriline?" "It couldnt be finished. We ran out of red thread today when I finished the order for The Duke Of Lexington, Lady Wotton." She repliled holidng her tounge. "Well then go out to the market and get some thread child! Use your head you useless thing!!" She snapped. "But its raining!! And I have no umbrella or money to buy one!" Coriline protested. "No buts! Out!" Lady Wotton hissed. Her fat neck jiggled when she yelled. "Y-yes ma'me." Coriline mudderd and marched out into Londons cold and bitter rain. Sweeney saw her go out. He felt no pitty or sympthy, but an old emotion stired inside him. He grew dizzy. He threw himself down in the chair and was soon lost in thought.

Coriline quickly became utterly lost. Rain fell down in sheets. She walked blindly. Anger filled her. At last! She reached the tread shop only to find it was close. "That Ol' bitch!" she mudderd. She continued to curse like a salior and tried to find her way back threw wind and rain. Coriline wanderd off blindly. Her long black hair getting in the way... She cursed her self as she felt hot tears of fustraiton burn down her face.

Sweeney woke with a start. His nightmare was his only dream. He felt angery, hungery for blood shed and screams. He began to see flashes of red in his vision. His snake like tounge licked his lips. "Tonight someone will die by the hands of Sweeney Todd!!" He thought with a mad pleasure. "Soon..." he drew out his razor, "You shall drip rubies, my love, perisous rubies..." he sang softly and got up. Excitied he went down stairs to find a victum...

Lady Wotton ate her dinner and looked by the fire. "The store is closed, Ma'me.." said a dripping wet cold and hungery Coriline. "Well that is not my concerine! Until you finish that dress..." she pointed to the half sew dress in the concer. "You shall be locked in the basement!" "Lady Wotton, honestly!! How can I finish a dress when we have no thread, and it is terribly dark down there. Why it isnt even light enough to see praticly let alone finish a dress!" Coriline exclaimed. "Didnt your mother teach you to hold your tounge!!??" Lady Wotton stood and garbbed her wrist. "Oww!!..." She struggled. "L-let me go you ol' hag!!" Lady Wotton slapped her. "YOU UNGRATEFUL CHILD!!" She then pushed her into the darkness that was the basement and locked the door. Coriline hit the floor and laid there in a daze. Sweeney herd all this and waited to here the door lock then, he entered. "Why! Lady Wotton! Never have I seen a lovly her face! Your red as a rose my dear!" he said. "Oh... why Mr. Todd, please!!" She giggled and batted her eyelashes in an attempted to be attraitve. But alas! She had grown old and fat, her youth had left her. Coriline jumped up when she herd his voice. "Maybe Mr. Todd will let me out!!" She blushed and she felt it. "Oooh... I already have been apon these strange shores for a month and I am fasinatied....with a man no less..." She shook it off and pressed her ear a agaisnt the door to listen. Of all the things one could think about being locked in a dark basement, she thought about how she looked! Why if Mr. Todd where to open the door!! She dreaded the thought more than she dreaded death.

"My dear Lady Wotton, may I have the honor to kiss your lovly cheek?" Sweeney asked with a good air of nobility. He was always good at lying... to women in particular. "WHAT!!??" Coriline coverd her mouth. "Oooh Mr. Todd, that would most please me." giggled Lady Wotton and she snroted she had giggled so much. Sweeney Todd acted quickly. He lead in as if to kiss her then he grabbed her neck and pulled her head back and held her there, then with his free hand he produced a razor. "wh..WHAT!!?" The old frog croaked. He lifted his razor high. He felt it shine. A mad smile curved apon his lips. "Y-your Mad!!" She croaked but it was drowned out by a hiddous gurrgling sound. Blood sprayed everywhere. The gurrgling and gushing hid his mad laughing and slashes. Soon.... when he felt satisfited, he stoped. "What was that!?" Coriline thought then her mind responded. "She's probly just clogged the sink or something..."

Sweeney walked over to the cabinet and pulled out a crystal glass. He turned it around and looked at his blood coverd relefction. He walked over to the victume and tilted its head down so the blood could drip. It oozed down slowly.. like a whisper one gives to there lover. Soon enough it filled the glass. He lifted it up and let the body slump over. He smiled slyly at the thought of never tasting blood. He swirled the liquied in its crystal like it was a fine glass of wine. He smiled to him self. Then he gently kissed the rim of the glass to his lips. He drank every drop. And he drank the last few drops with pleasure knowing that he could easily convince Coriline that all she herd was a clogged drain and Lady Wotton had gone away.

Days seem to pass (in reality only a few hours) for Coriline. "LET ME OUT!! PLEASED!!" She pounded against the door. He ignored her muffled cries. The body!! He quickly lifted the fat thing and dragged
her to the docks. He had to take the long way in odrder not to be seen. He quickly disposed of it. He quickly went back to the shop. He darted into the palor. There, was a lose strip of wall paper. Sweeney pulled it back it held two keys, one for the shop and the other for the basement. He locked the shop door then went to wash him self. He shighed wishing he could have disposed of it like he used to. Drag her to the chair, hit the pedal down the basement door and let her rot.

Coriline herd a door slam and foot steps. She banged on the door again and again. She was cold... so very cold. Suddenly, light flooded the room. "Wha... How long have I been down hear??" She said. She had to close her eyes for the light hurt. "A few hours I should guess, Miss Coriline." It was Mr. Todd. Coriline looked at him blushing. "I..i...oh... exucse me...I must wash my self!!" She hurried up the steps and darted into the bathroom and locked the door. Sweeney chuckled. "Women and there senitivites..." he thought. She looked at her self in the marrior. Her black hair was ratty and everywhere. Her eyes where red and puffy from crying. She removed her clothes and steped into the bath. Sweeney sat in the parlor. "What do to with Coriline...coriline..." the thought repeated in his head over and over so much that the name... sounded... almost sweet. An excuse, he considered would be easy to make as if "Where had Lady Wotton gone to?" and "What was that noise?" came up. THAT! would be easy but the tricky.... was WHAT to do with her. Should he kill her? Why not? Its not like he hant slain women before... or the innocent. But, he thought back to the countless times Coriline had gotten him cosutimers... all the ladys with there dresses she would send the men up stairs if she thought need be. He decied he would spare her....for a time...

END OF CHAPTER ONE!

I want to

Mood: restless
tunes: "Sway" The Rolling Stones

I want to get so high and so drunk I'm like Keith Richards!!! Then I want to lose my verginity to a rock star. I know I have probelms but all day I've wanted to smoke and drink!! I dont know whats up with me!! I guess when ever I feel lonely I get like this... hungery for sin. Shit if I could I'd go out right now and get wasted. The night calls to me.... god I feel like a slut. I'm not trying to get screwed or anything I just wanna get wasted! I dont know.... I want to feel alive! I want to get so high. I want to do all the sins and make up new ones! The night laughs and lives without me... something and someones out there! Stuff is out there! Life is out there! Freedom is out there! I got my heartbroken today. So this SUPER HOTT girl on the subway was just standing there her blonde hair down to her shoulders and her black hat stood atop it. She was like Marilyn Monroe <3 So, I give her a wink, because my mom anit looking. She returns the jesture with a little pucker of her ruby red lips. I smile. She nods.... and turns to her boyfriend. BANG! I stumbled off... akward. (Srry Nikki.... couldnt help it she was yummy) Then mom wouldnt shut up about stuff and I just wanted to be alone. I wish I didnt feel like this.... Im just cought in a Sway. Thank you Keith Richards for being my sexy ear candy. <3

Never

Mood: sad.... but kind of happy at the same time?
Tunes: "Wonderwall" Oasis.

The concert last night was amazing. I cried.

But, to the present.

I'm sad. I miss Nick alot.... its kind of sappy, and stupid... grr. Just... everywhere I go I find something of him somewhere. Christ I miss my hoodie.... I feel exposed... raped in a sence of my secerts. Clouds make me think of him. Perhaps I think to much... or to little. God love is a bitch. I feel happy, happy for the experiances I went threw but at the same time empty. Its probly because I havent been taking my pills.... I hate thoes with every fiber of my being, I have no idea if they work or not. Mom says I've gotten better. Hm. She hasnt seen my head. And she never will. I should stop listening to Oasis.... I really should. But I cant. Relationships are werid. And Maybe your gonna be the one that saves me... Its werid how we connect, people in general to certain things. Oh I wish I couldnt see clouds.... not now. Not with out Nikki anyway. We always look at clouds together. Or we end up doing that anyway...til Tanner comes and ruins it. Bastard. Oh well. Idk why i am typing so much. I guess I'm just bitchy today. Backbeat word is one the street that the fire in your heart is out.... I dont believe that anybody feels the way I do about you know. Ughhhhhhhhh. I just want to go in a coner and die for a while. Or just be alone. No. That would be bad. That would be really bad. I think moms mad at me that I have a relationship of some sort. Shes overly protecting. God mom keeps messing with my hair. STOP TOUCHING ME!!! I dont liked to be touched most of the time. Sometimes I do but most of the time not. I wish she wouldnt ask me what I'm doing every 30 seconds. Today was going to be the day that they were gonna throw me back to you, by now you should have realized what not to do... Maybe I should have. Sence... there is blood on my jeans now. -shigh- Stupid me. Stupid stupid me. Self murder. I should go clean these up. I'm taking my Mp3 with me today. So I can drown myself in my fanistys and sarrows -shigh- I will be the end of my self one day...

I know

I know I heard your voice... so so long ago. Now here I stand and I crowd to glance at you, dont matter if I fall. So I say "I love you" in that soft kind of way. You smile at me and nod if understood. I point again. You nod again. I gaze at you happily as if you had chosen me. Then a cord you play, a memory dug up. Then I remember, sadly, I have to move on. I feel your eyes apoun my head, its all you can see, then and there do you remind me.... you'll only drag me down. I know you wander, and damn I know you wander far, so as the stars come out. You made me cry... you made my body cold as stone. You make me happy as a song bird. There and then, that bitter sweet memory, that cord you play, that tune you hum, and that line I felt you called to me... "It aint' me, babe."

A formal letter to Mr. Wilde

Dearest Oscar Finn. Wilde,

Oh! Is it not a poet I have herd? For I have only read! You are a poet I havent seen, for when I met you you where in your death bed. It was coverd in lip stick kisses, from your foot to your head. You were cold and made of stone yet, your heart still glows! Fairwell dearest Oscar, I read you now, and I read you when I'm dead.

I miss you Joey Ramone

Dear Joey,

Hi. I miss you... alot of us do. I think I miss you most from my friends though. Are you okay? Can you still see tomarrow and today? I know you wernt burried in a pet semitary. Why did you leave? Why did you die!?? I'll be mad at you forever. Yet, I still love you anyway. So I sink my very soul. It wasnt ment to be I know. Still, there is a glimmer in my eye... something of hope. Is it true? About what you said? Does everyone really have a poison heart? I do.... for you at lest...

The God of Nothing.

Who here beleives in you? Who here beleives in me? Who dare beleive in a immortal man by the likes of which we havent seen? Who here kneels down and prasies him on your old and bloody knees? You beg for forgiveness, when there was no crime! Do you mean to sit and listen, or just sit and pass the time? Sunday morning rolls around, you get out of bed and pray. But when Monday's eveing sun falls down you buy a girl and hit the town. And drink until you fall down. Then come the holy sabbath, you feel so guilty you could bleed. So you kneel at his house, on your broken hands and knees. You claim that he can hear you, you claim that he cares. But in reality you dont know if God is even there! You knight your self a pesant to a man you dubbed a king. You can speak his word chapter and verse but is it all that it is worth? You may as well get up off your feet, prepare to relish in crushed hopes and broken dreams. Worship his peices of wood, remeber him and serve him good or so help me you will burn. The one to proect you, shelter you from sin, it might as be your own shadow. When your dead you can keep knocking, but He wont let you in. Go head and praise a silly man. Might as well be dead. Forget your thoughts and feelings for your God for he is nothing but a man, a poorer man than me. For he is mearly nothing and thats all he'll ever be. For he is God of Nothing! For everyone and me.

Stars

Out alone in the world. Tonight. Out alone in the darkest night. I see some lights, as stars fill the sky. Do they ever fall? I lay in the grass and think of you. Some say it is all I ever do. Dream and think of only you. As I can recall, sence the dawn of man, the first breath of time, the stars have kissed the sky. Somehow, laying here, isnt the same with out you. The stars dont seem as bright, my heart dosnt feel right. I'll rest when I am dead. My mind wont quite talking... my heart wont stop rocking.I lay in the grass and dream of you. How I wish to be alone with you. I could lay here forever with you and everything would be beutiful underneath these endless stars.

Linger on a razor

I see your face on silver. So it glimmers, ever so tempting. Your eyes lay apoun the silver. Your so cold. I wish you would kill me... slowly. Oh somehow. You caress your blade and sing to it longinly. As if it t'was your lover. Oh will you sing to me that way? Can you feel for me as you do the blade? I linger on your razor whising it was me. But, I know you seak revenge... so I stand aside... only hoping one day you caress me in a kiss then kill me sweetly. Then linger on at my rubies on your razor. Oh please please sing to it. Sing to it sweetly. Oh please, linger on my corpse. Confustion tangles me like the cobwebs on your wall. I wander lost in my thoughts. I've watched you. I've watched you plan, I've watched you plot, I've watched you think, but yet, I have never seen you love. Only words of darkness and affections for the cold steel. If I where that... if I where that... oh if I, If I! Where that..... would you... would you linger? Would you linger on me like you do the steel you caress? Why do I love a muderder? Why do I wish you to feel as I do? Oh why do I keep asking questions?? I pray that you may somehow care for me one day.... but as for now. I only wish to be the razor you linger on.