Never

Mood: sad.... but kind of happy at the same time?
Tunes: "Wonderwall" Oasis.

The concert last night was amazing. I cried.

But, to the present.

I'm sad. I miss Nick alot.... its kind of sappy, and stupid... grr. Just... everywhere I go I find something of him somewhere. Christ I miss my hoodie.... I feel exposed... raped in a sence of my secerts. Clouds make me think of him. Perhaps I think to much... or to little. God love is a bitch. I feel happy, happy for the experiances I went threw but at the same time empty. Its probly because I havent been taking my pills.... I hate thoes with every fiber of my being, I have no idea if they work or not. Mom says I've gotten better. Hm. She hasnt seen my head. And she never will. I should stop listening to Oasis.... I really should. But I cant. Relationships are werid. And Maybe your gonna be the one that saves me... Its werid how we connect, people in general to certain things. Oh I wish I couldnt see clouds.... not now. Not with out Nikki anyway. We always look at clouds together. Or we end up doing that anyway...til Tanner comes and ruins it. Bastard. Oh well. Idk why i am typing so much. I guess I'm just bitchy today. Backbeat word is one the street that the fire in your heart is out.... I dont believe that anybody feels the way I do about you know. Ughhhhhhhhh. I just want to go in a coner and die for a while. Or just be alone. No. That would be bad. That would be really bad. I think moms mad at me that I have a relationship of some sort. Shes overly protecting. God mom keeps messing with my hair. STOP TOUCHING ME!!! I dont liked to be touched most of the time. Sometimes I do but most of the time not. I wish she wouldnt ask me what I'm doing every 30 seconds. Today was going to be the day that they were gonna throw me back to you, by now you should have realized what not to do... Maybe I should have. Sence... there is blood on my jeans now. -shigh- Stupid me. Stupid stupid me. Self murder. I should go clean these up. I'm taking my Mp3 with me today. So I can drown myself in my fanistys and sarrows -shigh- I will be the end of my self one day...